An interview with Enrique Fuentes, Queen of the Downtown Fur - by N.L. Belardes
N: Enrique, some of us were expecting you to be a little more glam last Saturday Night. But you chose a more traditional look. Why?
E: My honey, we weren’t going to the Viper Room. This is Bakersfield, where glam means an Asian silk shimmer is enough to make you shine in the Basque limelight. I added a punk hint mixed with my Marilyn kisses, straight from the boutique. But I didn’t forget my fur. That’s why I’m the queen of it. Now run to me! Shout!
N: Were you disappointed that Kenny Mount didn’t show up to the event?
E: And it wasn’t just him. None of those Filthies came to see me. They’re all a bunch of Paulo’s! Captain Kenny Filthy pants was the biggest disappointment for the evening. My Asian flare was really meant for him. But I’m not worried. He’ll make it up to me. Most boys do.
N: You met Arthur Chilling outside of Narduccis? Tell us what happened…
E: Well honey, I was coaxing the first glow from my Benson’s when I saw this decadent little boy blue who looked very familiar go running into the Narduccis parking lot, screaming, “Ghost! Ghost!” I get the chills easy anyway, thus my faboo fur that keeps me purring. Well as soon as that happened I figured it was time for mama to enter the scene… and don’t you go thinking I was scared or I’ll throw you a dish—that’s me… jajaja.
N: What did you think of the Dalloways?
E: That lovely Gary Enns and his thrilling sidekick, Nico Rhodes. Now the Dalloways, they’re all devastatingly beautiful people and should all star in a movie I’d like to title, “The Yuppie Princes of Fresno.” There’s Gary, he’s the star, and he’s got this Elvis Costello charm as if he just stepped from a lovely 80s film about young boys with charming libido. And Nico as I mentioned, she’s got this cute little thing when she taps the keys almost like she’s tapping on your heart and saying, “Are you home, sweety?” Oh I like that. We should go shopping. The bass player. What can I say? He’s got a scowl like he wants to hold me tight. The drummer. I would say he can work me over like a Ricky Ricardo music festival, but his wife was so charming I can’t bear my own laughingly girlish thoughts. And then there is Enrique, he goes by Ricky, and he has this Antonio hair that makes me want to run my fingers through it. I can be Salma Hayak. I can be her. Let’s be desperados; let’s be el mariachi; oh they can all run to me! I love their music! Shout! They rock the c___k!
N: What did you think of Johnny Come Lately?
E: You mean Johnny Come Slowly? I love them, all of them. Their music was very pleasurable. The bearded one seemed ticklish. I wanted to know if he would kiss and tell? The lead singer seemed like a groaner. He dedicated a song to me! I love him! The boy with the glasses I kissed and kissed again. We’re going to date, I’m sure of it. Now they have a way with music that makes you like rock and roll, because honey, I rock, and you can roll me if you don’t like how I’m laying. Jjajaja!
N: What did you think of Norfolk?
E: I’m not sure I heard their music. Was I in the courtyard with my arms around that Chinese girl? She kissed me like I was Angelina Jolie in that most favorite movie of mine, Original Sin. I would love to hear their music. Were they really there? Have them run to me. But make an appointment first. jajaja... I am playing. I loved their music. They sounded like they were into positive rock sounds... and that makes Enrique dance.
N: You hung out with Baketown for a while there. What was that all about?
E: I love Baketown. But she hides. She acts incognito, and I want her to open up and shine, but without the overuse of laughter. She’s a pushy dancer. Didn’t she know I like Asians when it comes to dancing and twirling my curls? I am in love with her sensitivity.
N: Where’s your next big appearance and why haven’t you shown yourself in this way until now?
E: I might show up this weekend at Kosmos to see Captain Kenny Filthy Pants. But I’m not promising you anything. He hurt me. Kleenex please, Nicky? I haven’t shown myself in this flavor because desserts should always depend on the main course.
N: Are you into the Hollywood glam?
E: Don’t act stupid, Nicky. Next question you little Puerto Rican hoochie.
N: What’s the big scoop on you and Rico?
E: I have told you I don’t kiss and tell but I was very close to entertaining him on an Aztec cruise to one of those islands of lost lovers. I turned him down at the last minute for a glimpse of Kenny Mount’s filthy maracas.
N: So the Paulo thing is over?
E: I don’t want to talk about it. Another Kleenex…
N: Are we going to be blessed with one of your entertaining reviews of Narduccis?
E: I am going to write a fashion accessory piece next. This is all the reviews these hoochie bands are going to get out of mama.
N: What was your kiss count for the evening?
E: Boys on the lips, 4; girls with no hips, 3; near misses on you, Nicky, 6. And one long kiss with some Asian beauty queen who had hips and lips.
N: What do you think about all of the attention the downtown music scene has been getting as of late?
E: It could be more glamorous. But we can help that with some fashionable statements to the media that says, “Run to me! Run to me now and hold me!” You know what I mean, hoochie Nicky?
E: My honey, we weren’t going to the Viper Room. This is Bakersfield, where glam means an Asian silk shimmer is enough to make you shine in the Basque limelight. I added a punk hint mixed with my Marilyn kisses, straight from the boutique. But I didn’t forget my fur. That’s why I’m the queen of it. Now run to me! Shout!
N: Were you disappointed that Kenny Mount didn’t show up to the event?
E: And it wasn’t just him. None of those Filthies came to see me. They’re all a bunch of Paulo’s! Captain Kenny Filthy pants was the biggest disappointment for the evening. My Asian flare was really meant for him. But I’m not worried. He’ll make it up to me. Most boys do.
N: You met Arthur Chilling outside of Narduccis? Tell us what happened…
E: Well honey, I was coaxing the first glow from my Benson’s when I saw this decadent little boy blue who looked very familiar go running into the Narduccis parking lot, screaming, “Ghost! Ghost!” I get the chills easy anyway, thus my faboo fur that keeps me purring. Well as soon as that happened I figured it was time for mama to enter the scene… and don’t you go thinking I was scared or I’ll throw you a dish—that’s me… jajaja.
N: What did you think of the Dalloways?
E: That lovely Gary Enns and his thrilling sidekick, Nico Rhodes. Now the Dalloways, they’re all devastatingly beautiful people and should all star in a movie I’d like to title, “The Yuppie Princes of Fresno.” There’s Gary, he’s the star, and he’s got this Elvis Costello charm as if he just stepped from a lovely 80s film about young boys with charming libido. And Nico as I mentioned, she’s got this cute little thing when she taps the keys almost like she’s tapping on your heart and saying, “Are you home, sweety?” Oh I like that. We should go shopping. The bass player. What can I say? He’s got a scowl like he wants to hold me tight. The drummer. I would say he can work me over like a Ricky Ricardo music festival, but his wife was so charming I can’t bear my own laughingly girlish thoughts. And then there is Enrique, he goes by Ricky, and he has this Antonio hair that makes me want to run my fingers through it. I can be Salma Hayak. I can be her. Let’s be desperados; let’s be el mariachi; oh they can all run to me! I love their music! Shout! They rock the c___k!
N: What did you think of Johnny Come Lately?
E: You mean Johnny Come Slowly? I love them, all of them. Their music was very pleasurable. The bearded one seemed ticklish. I wanted to know if he would kiss and tell? The lead singer seemed like a groaner. He dedicated a song to me! I love him! The boy with the glasses I kissed and kissed again. We’re going to date, I’m sure of it. Now they have a way with music that makes you like rock and roll, because honey, I rock, and you can roll me if you don’t like how I’m laying. Jjajaja!
N: What did you think of Norfolk?
E: I’m not sure I heard their music. Was I in the courtyard with my arms around that Chinese girl? She kissed me like I was Angelina Jolie in that most favorite movie of mine, Original Sin. I would love to hear their music. Were they really there? Have them run to me. But make an appointment first. jajaja... I am playing. I loved their music. They sounded like they were into positive rock sounds... and that makes Enrique dance.
N: You hung out with Baketown for a while there. What was that all about?
E: I love Baketown. But she hides. She acts incognito, and I want her to open up and shine, but without the overuse of laughter. She’s a pushy dancer. Didn’t she know I like Asians when it comes to dancing and twirling my curls? I am in love with her sensitivity.
N: Where’s your next big appearance and why haven’t you shown yourself in this way until now?
E: I might show up this weekend at Kosmos to see Captain Kenny Filthy Pants. But I’m not promising you anything. He hurt me. Kleenex please, Nicky? I haven’t shown myself in this flavor because desserts should always depend on the main course.
N: Are you into the Hollywood glam?
E: Don’t act stupid, Nicky. Next question you little Puerto Rican hoochie.
N: What’s the big scoop on you and Rico?
E: I have told you I don’t kiss and tell but I was very close to entertaining him on an Aztec cruise to one of those islands of lost lovers. I turned him down at the last minute for a glimpse of Kenny Mount’s filthy maracas.
N: So the Paulo thing is over?
E: I don’t want to talk about it. Another Kleenex…
N: Are we going to be blessed with one of your entertaining reviews of Narduccis?
E: I am going to write a fashion accessory piece next. This is all the reviews these hoochie bands are going to get out of mama.
N: What was your kiss count for the evening?
E: Boys on the lips, 4; girls with no hips, 3; near misses on you, Nicky, 6. And one long kiss with some Asian beauty queen who had hips and lips.
N: What do you think about all of the attention the downtown music scene has been getting as of late?
E: It could be more glamorous. But we can help that with some fashionable statements to the media that says, “Run to me! Run to me now and hold me!” You know what I mean, hoochie Nicky?
This entry was posted by N.L. Belardes, on
Monday, April 18, 2005.
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