No shade and no hockey at the new Bakersfield Riverwalk Park Amphitheatre - By N.L. Belardes

I tried to get some pictures of Soulajar at the Riverwalk Park Amphitheatre. No dice from Mike Cornett who did inform me that some Canuck named Joel Jacob won a Bakersfield music competition at KLLY 95.3 FM. Not that I hate Canadians, but it's playoff time in the NHL, and I always get a little patriotic during this time. Did Mento Buru play the competition? Why not? Anyway, there’s a new amphitheatre in town and I’m impressed by the look and feel: the steel girders and big bright signs, decorative ponds and fountain, the big Bright House amphitheatre with lots of metal seats coated with just enough whatever it is so you won’t burn your ass on the seats in the 110 degree Bakersfield summers; and the bathrooms and dressing rooms for rock stars, complete with a mirror to fit a chorus line; lots of light bulbs surround those. A hill rises in front of the stage where people can sit in the grass or on the seats while a small moat surrounds the stage area. And not just that, there are play toys for kids… though I saw no volleyball courts, basketball courts, and what this city really needs: an outdoor roller hockey rink. I mean what’s the deal, Bakersfield city? The city supports ice hockey, but not roller hockey?


Mento Buru photo by tekwiz

Almost perfect.

Except there is no shade. Seems the city was only bright enough to plant little sticks held up by posts, that unless you have a waist size of three inches, you’re just not going to get cooled in the shade… for about 15 years.


DeRoo from Adema talks to Matt from Mento Buru. Photo by tekwiz

And people flocked to the decorative ponds and stream, to swim! There were no lifeguards and no ‘swim here’ signs, and no ‘no swimming’ signs… yet. The ponds were clearly not for swimming as they are rung with sharp rocks. Did people care? No. This is Bakersfield. If there is water, people will swim.

And the amphitheatre points into the sun. Why? Don’t put the sun in the audience’ eyes, and don’t put the sun in the musician’s eyes.

Dumb planning. Thanks Bakersfield City.


photo by tekwiz


photo by tekwiz

The best part was Mento Buru. But once again… no shade. It was only 90 degrees or so. But the weather just changed from cool to warm and the sun was beating down as people weren’t yet acclimated to the warmer temperatures.


photo by tekwiz


These Mas Magazine guys are cool! Photo by tekwiz

And there is no shade.

I wanted to plant my own tree.

And Mento Buru didn’t play their song, "Poonanny". You know the song where the ska king belts out, “She’s got a big ol butt!”

Yeah, I love that song.

I wonder how long it will be before the city’s new illustrious park is going to erect fences around ponds. Will it only take one kid getting sliced up on sharp rocks where there are no signs that read, “Enter at own risk. Beware of sharp rocks.”

I did like that the sound didn’t seem like it would travel to the residential areas where the wealthy folk might complain like those around CSUB’s mostly dead amphitheatre.

“Turn that down! I can’t hear my television!”

Ay carrumba. The complacent of Bakersfield and their dead amphitheatres.

I just hope the planning gets better. All this talk about Jimmy Buffet and a million bucks to get him to Bakersfield to play the amphitheatre so we can all sweat to death while the sun blinds him at a twilight summer show. How old is Jimmy Buffet? Who cares about Jimmy Buffet?


Don't step on the sharp rocks! Photo by tekwiz
(the sharp rocks are the red you see ringing the pond)

Give me music worthy of sweating my ass off for.

Let’s all pray for shade and that no kids’ get seriously hurt.

And the city won’t put in a outdoor hockey rink? Vegas parks have had outdoor rinks for years!

Read Matildakay's take on the day.

This entry was posted by N.L. Belardes, on Wednesday, May 03, 2006. You can leave your response.