Do you want to be a Bond girl? - Rich Ferguson writes about 007 chick fantasies
Rich Ferguson is a riotous writer for thenervousbreakdown.com. I'm going to be featuring his work here on Paperback Writer in exchange for all his secret knowledge to spoken word and gut-wrenching lyrical prose. Check out what he has to say about Bond girls... -n.l.
If I Were a Bond Girl Life Would Be Easier...All The Problems With The Middle East, White House Incompetence, Mass Genocide, and Racism Wouldn't Worry Me as Much...Well, Maybe They Would...But At Least They Wouldn't Be As Worrisome If I Were a Bond Girl
By Rich Ferguson
LOS ANGELES, CA-
If I were a Bond Girl
I’d be Thunderball beautiful
Have a body like a smart bomb
Be Jill St. John, Britt Eckland and Barbara Bach
All rolled into one
If I were a Bond Girl
I’d be a geologist, a professor of Danish at Oxford
A fully trained astronaut working for the CIA
Run my own flying circus
Be a Japanese shell diver, an expert pickpocket
Or simply go by the code name: XXX
If I were a Bond Girl
I’d be Ursula Andres emerging from the sea in a bikini
Have a heavily guarded island filled with women
Be able to make love in scuba gear, while orbiting the Earth
Or in some remote location covered in diamonds
Last week I went to visit a psychic
Asked if I’d ever been a Bond Girl in a past life
Or had the chance of being one in the future
The psychic said: “Gimme my fifty bucks before I answer your question”
After I handed over the cash
All she said was:
“Fat Chance”
(Read the full article and LEAVE A COMMENT)
RICH FERGUSON has performed at the Redcat Theater in Disney Hall, the South by Southwest Music Festival, the North By Northwest Music Festival, the Henry Miller Library, Tongue and Groove, and Beyond Baroque. He will also be a featured performer in the sequel to One Giant Leap, a film by Jamie Catto and Duncan Bridgeman, due out in Spring 2007. His latest spoken word/music CD, Where I Come From, was produced by Herb Graham Jr. and can be heard here. Rich can also be reached by e-mail at fuzzydoodah@sbcglobal.net.
If I Were a Bond Girl Life Would Be Easier...All The Problems With The Middle East, White House Incompetence, Mass Genocide, and Racism Wouldn't Worry Me as Much...Well, Maybe They Would...But At Least They Wouldn't Be As Worrisome If I Were a Bond Girl
By Rich Ferguson
LOS ANGELES, CA-
If I were a Bond Girl
I’d be Thunderball beautiful
Have a body like a smart bomb
Be Jill St. John, Britt Eckland and Barbara Bach
All rolled into one
If I were a Bond Girl
I’d be a geologist, a professor of Danish at Oxford
A fully trained astronaut working for the CIA
Run my own flying circus
Be a Japanese shell diver, an expert pickpocket
Or simply go by the code name: XXX
If I were a Bond Girl
I’d be Ursula Andres emerging from the sea in a bikini
Have a heavily guarded island filled with women
Be able to make love in scuba gear, while orbiting the Earth
Or in some remote location covered in diamonds
Last week I went to visit a psychic
Asked if I’d ever been a Bond Girl in a past life
Or had the chance of being one in the future
The psychic said: “Gimme my fifty bucks before I answer your question”
After I handed over the cash
All she said was:
“Fat Chance”
(Read the full article and LEAVE A COMMENT)
RICH FERGUSON has performed at the Redcat Theater in Disney Hall, the South by Southwest Music Festival, the North By Northwest Music Festival, the Henry Miller Library, Tongue and Groove, and Beyond Baroque. He will also be a featured performer in the sequel to One Giant Leap, a film by Jamie Catto and Duncan Bridgeman, due out in Spring 2007. His latest spoken word/music CD, Where I Come From, was produced by Herb Graham Jr. and can be heard here. Rich can also be reached by e-mail at fuzzydoodah@sbcglobal.net.
This entry was posted by N.L. Belardes, on
Tuesday, September 26, 2006.
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i'd be a mix of non-bond lara croft with hots like halle berry and michelle yeoh. ooh to be a bond girl!
I kinda like Grace Jones as a Bond girl, though I suspect my best shot at a female supporting character in a Bond movie would be as Rosa Klebb (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rosa_Klebb)
Gwen
I am a Bond girl. (all girls from Canada are, oh! and all girls with the last name Jones, Canadian or not)
:)
If I was a Bond girl I'd be like Rosanne Barr. I'd have 100 different personalities to hide behind in case I ever got into any trouble.
But I don't want to be a Bond girl. That's just too much work. I just want to be chubby- out of shape- do nothing but sit around the house all day- and be lazy lil ol me.
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