The Dalloways, Willieboy and La Costa Earwig - By N.L. Belardes

The Brit banana parked at the Dalloways

Yesterday I stopped by the Dalloways house to drop off some Kern County Fair passes. You know the Dalloways. Two of the members are the married duo of Cortnie and Gary Enns. He's a singer/songwriter/creative writing professor; she's a lovely keyboardist with a darling kneedipping high-heeled dance that tickles me and my friends when she lets her fingers do the walking to Gary Enns' brit pop alternative lounge stylings. Whew! Big sentence!


Cortnie Spice, I mean Cortnie's lala spice


Which one is Gary?

I stopped by with chingpea and Matildakay. We were on our way to get food but made time to see the Dalloways cool brit banana car, their tough cat, big-headed Cotty kitty beast, and new reed-covered fence.

I was lucky enough to hear a rough mix of a grooving new song that's going to be on their follow-up album to the acclaimed Penalty Crusade, titled, The Distant Fairs. Oh yeah, I even picked up Gary's acoustic. "I never heard you play, N.L." he said.

"Not sure you want to," I said. I finger-picked a few terrible licks.


Euro coffee pot ala Dallowanskis


Cortnie talks to cats

After talking about fried twinkies, funnel cakes and corn dogs we talked Mexican Food.

Blah blah blah I don't remember the conversation other than Gary saying, "You gotta go to La Costa."

"Sure. La Costa. Is that better than Santiagos?"

"I think so," said Gary.


The new reed fence


Skull cat killa

Cortnie made some wise crack not even worth mentioning because she threatened to sick her calico cat Clem Clem Clemmy Clementine Clavicle on me. Oh, not taking me seriously? This dogcat kills rats and birds. It steals eggs and drinks the birdie juice like yellow jamba slushies. And she wears a SKULL collar just to intimidate people like me.


Clemonstra

Regarding the fair: I think Cortnie wanted to win a new Fisher-Price keyboard at the quarter toss. I won a stuffed Donkey Kong(ball roll race), a bear(quarter toss), and a fluffy dog(ping pong ball in a blue bowl). I rubbed it in. I was the champion of the fair. Who could ever top my lucky #2 day? Two quarters in the coin toss, #2 horse in the ball race, and second win at the ping pong toss on my second set of ping pong balls.

Cortnie threatened death by cat claws.


Cotty has "Cotty's House" as it's own big college radio hit song

We finally left and they had a fun rainy time at the fair.

Today I was talking to my old hockey buddy Willieboy. He's on the board of beer directors for Bakersfield's Brews in the Village. You can always see me in his brew posse wearing a sombrero. He was limping today from having broke his toe while on a boat to go lobster hunting.

"It happened two minutes after I got on the boat," he said, reliving his traumatic falling-down-the-boat-stairs event. He walked drunken like he had just cooked up a 7 Corona fiesta in his back yard.

Oh yeah. It was hilarious. Willieboy is hilarious. If anyone could be a stand up comic, it's Willieboy. No lie. Hands down, he does the best gay interpretation I've ever seen. His brokeback antics rival Robin Williams flamboyance in The Bird Cage.

We were getting hungry at the old day job and he said, "La Costa."

"Is it better than Santiagos?"

"Oh yeah."

blah blah blah

And so we went to La Costa.


This is Willieboy on the elevator. He used to have a Blackberry, until it went through the wash; now he has a cell phone. Instead of typing messages he writes Post-Its to himself and slams them onto his phone. It's new technology meets old. "Takes less time to write a Post-It then type in a message," he says.

At the restaurant the salsa was good. But not as good as Santiagos.

I ordered a chile verde burrito. That was a #2 on the menu. Lucky #2 baby.

chingpea was in the house and ordered... crap I can't remember.

But Willieboy ordered a #3, which was some kind of chicken salad.

When the food arrived Willieboy thought he ordered a #2, the lucky chile verdo burrito. He didn't. He got grumpy but decided he would live with his choice: a giant chicken salad on a giant leaf of lettuce.

"I'll split mine with you. Take half," I said.

"No, I can't."

"Just take half, man. It's cool. We'll share."

Finally, he did. I asked for an extra plate, got one, and gave him half of my burrito, some rice and beans. In turn, he scraped me off some of his salad.

We chowed.

It was a breaking bread kind of a moment until I saw a fat earwig crawl from his salad. It ran around the edge of his plate and ducked behind a big leaf.



No, it wasn't as traumatic as you think. Willieboy said to the waiter, "There's an earwig in this salad. When you replace it, can you bring a chile verde burrito instead?"

Lucky #2 baby.

"Sure," the waiter said. He took the salad and my plate.

That left half of my burrito which I had already passed to Willieboy, who now chowed with style.

I hadn't even taken a bite of my burrito yet.

Plateless, I stared at my burrito that he was eating joyfully.

He offered me half.

I declined.

He offered again.

I partook of my old burrito.

And then two more burritos came.

Lucky #2, baby.

I don't know what happened to the earwig...

This entry was posted by N.L. Belardes, on Monday, October 02, 2006. You can leave your response.