Rich Ferguson shares his Christmas spoken word RUDOLPH RANT - By N.L. Belardes
Herb Graham Jr. and Rich Ferguson
We're in the midst of the Christmas holidays so I have to share with you the official Christmas rant of Paperback Writer, a poem by Rich Ferguson, spoken word poet out of Los Angeles. The poem is titled "Rudolph Rant" and I filmed Rich sharing it at his Hollywood bungalow over the weekend at Noveltown's first Bookshare. I'll be writing more about the Bookshare soon...
Sorry, I cut off the first "Rudolph". oops!
Rudolph Rant - By Rich Ferguson
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Was a foul-mouthed, philandering fucktard
Of a tennis-elbowed twit
With a petting zoo soul
And a hemorrhoided harpsichord
Playin’ the soundtrack to his goodbye-cruel-world of a life…
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Was a semiconductor for a convoluted convocation
Of soggy corn flakes and fornicating foul mouths
All floundering around in a wide-open sea of soporific somehows…
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Was a gagged and bound scapegoat
For the gluttonous yet gorgeously gregarious
Narcoleptic nymphs<
Now fast asleep behind stuck zippers
Dreaming of premature ejaculations
And the almighty lactating yes indeed…
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Was a nitrous oxide huffing
Hair lipped and livid logarithm
For the grizzled yet risible congregation
Of Drambuie-bombed bowling alley managers
Cross-dressing for the first time
At a Cher concert
For the sheer hell of it…
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Was a pneumonia-prone
Warped and wobbly plumb line
Sunk to the dark and fathomless depths of Dostoyevskian doom
All complete with domino-falling farces
And camera-mugging antics
Just to make his My Space page seem a little more dramatic…
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Was a scarlet-lettered lame duck
With a landlocked heart
And mouthful of halitosis’d haikus
Not even coming close
To smelling like that jam-packed and sumptuous
Greasy fajita of freedom…
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Was a rusty spittoon
For a flock of peregrinating
Gallows-humored ghostwriters
Whose only dream
Was to breathe in the stale bouquet
That was the wilting nosegay of their own gloom…
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Was a knock-kneed field hockey hack
A cross-eyed and contemptible hurricane
Knocking about noisily
In the heart of an otherwise hopefully harmonious
And humming humanity…
Happy Holidays, Y’all!
Get more poetry (and music) from Rich by purchasing his spoken word CD, Where I Come From) (Includes drummer from The Eels)
More...
"Bones" from Where I Come From
This entry was posted by N.L. Belardes, on
Monday, December 11, 2006.
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Loved Rich's Rudolph Rant!
It was great to meet Rich Ferguson in person and many other talented writers/artists in the Los Angeles area at Noveltown's first Bookshare event.
More great things are in store for Noveltown with the Bookshare events!
that one was hilarious! i had a great time at noveltown's first bookshare. everyone i met was darling!
Poor Rudolph with his hairlip and halitosis. ha.
That was great!
I've never heard the word fucktard, though. Oh geez, does this mean I'm getting old and uncool. Shit. Damn. Frock.
I may just be the next Rudolph.
Rich, you're awesome man! Diggin' "Bones"!
Thanks for the vid's NL, this was too cool!
I checked out RF's myspace after reading this entry. I ordered his cd.
Thanks for the intro.
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