Corporate card etiquette for the workplace? - By N.L. Belardes
Will you sign a corporate card just like everyone else?
What would Cubicle Dweller think if she were told to have corporate card etiquette? Would she even sign a card if passed into her cubicle? Or would she put a sticker on the card, pour Prozac all over it and write a note with an arrow that says, "Scratch and sniff"?
Everyone should know I’m a closet reader of Cubicle Dweller. She’s Bakersfield’s eyes to the cubicle life at the mysterious county offices of Kern. She takes medication, and often her co-workers push her to the brink of insanity where she nearly takes more than her recommended daily allowance. And it’s all true! Talk about snoring during your career. I once survived a county cubicle for around eight months. That’s about five dog years. Sure, I was in the more flamboyant marketing department. But there was still a little grey cloud hanging over my desk the same color as the partitions.
I shouldn’t complain. I work in a corporate environment today as well. But it’s not nearly as dry as working for Kern County, where cubicles could be filled with plastic flowers and you’d think: that’s normal.
My own unpublished Cubicles novel takes the corporate world and smashes in a dose of philosophy. I wrote it before The Office TV show, but after Office Space the movie. It’s a weird tale of office romance and is filled with enlightenment-filled axioms and non-etiquette reasoning.
This worker needs a card
Speaking of corporate etiquette, I had a big realization today after being tipped off to watch a Wall Street Journal video on corporate card etiquette. Yes, you heard it right: Corporate Card Etiquette. If you’ve been the recipient of having a card passed around at your workplace, and you never knew what to write, well, there is an answer out there for you. Sarah E. Needlemen not only wrote an entire careerjournal.com article titled, “Tips for Signing Office Cards When Inspiration Is Lacking,” she even stars in a video (Click on 'Video clip' under 'Related Links' in the middle of the article).
And you won’t be bored. Now that I’ve seen the video, dammit I’m paranoid of writing in the center of cards, and will forever shy from my long-winded diatribes and spectacularly novelesque happy birthday-isms.
The video itself is informative and strange. A giant man interviews a reporter who has flippy hair. She talks about etiquette but then the video cuts to Dilbert: the ultimate mocking of corporate America. I giggled.
So go watch the video and learn how to be a corporate card signing Michelangelo of your cubicle island…
This entry was posted by N.L. Belardes, on
Tuesday, January 30, 2007.
You can leave your response.
First of all if I got stuck in an office cubicle I would kill myself in a matter of days, to me a cubicle is the worst form of torture I can imagine. Secondly when it comes to group cards I am the jerk who writes smack dab in the middle and when I am in a good mood I even take up a little more space b drawing a picture or making a border around my entry to make it stand out as much as possible. I also enjoy using something other than the pen tat was passed with the card I like markers and crayons, pink or red maybe green. If I was stuck in a cubicle I would need even more creative outlet so I would probably end up coloring the whole card or I would make a few of my own, or I would kill myself. My personal philosophy is that I am either your friend or I am not whether you work with me or whatever I am going to write the same thing in your “office” card that I would write in any other card to you. I am not much into fronting I guess so if I write or draw something weird in your card you should not be surprised because you would already know that I’m weird because I don’t try to hide it, I also only like humorous cheese.
My workplace is sooooo the opposite of "corporate" and the only two cubicles, suprisingly enough... are the General Mgr.s and the Assist.Mgr.
BUT... cards do get passed around often. And like e.t. I am a card HOG. I write real big so it's noticed and usually it's something that I think is funny but I'm sure other's think is the stupidest thing they've ever read. IF they even bother reading it.
That was a neat article. With great "pointers" for corporate card etiquette! How in the world did you EVER come accross it? Was it anonymously emailed to you after one-too-many innapropriate and politically incorrect N.L. card signings? hehehe
Yeah, and how about the recipient? Signing the card is one thing, but does the celebrated figure live in a bubble of pastry jelly so deep, that they actually keep the card and display it in their home, or show it off to friends and family?..."Hey look at me,the calculatedly caressed corporate cubicle card candidate!"..."WOOHOO!"
DW: that made me laugh.
ET: you can write in the middle of my card any day...
Norma: It's a mystery.
Are you thinking of DHS on California and Union? That is the most massive cubicle land I have ever seen.
My card snippets just reinforce what the card was created for.
NL,
Hope you enjoy this comment. -Sonicrusk
corporate card etiquette for the workplace?! hilarious...
i guess i have none. it's so funny... i sign pretty much in the center of the card because that's where my eyes and pen are drawn and i usually write the most generic thing i can think of.
why take the time when more oft than not, you don't really know or hang with that person... so what does it really matter what you say? as long as your polite and you wish them well...
I'm guessing in some companies team building is really strong. In others, people are vying for a climb up the corporate ladder. Perhaps such card strategies matter in those cases.
I usually try to write something more than well-wishing.
SR: I have seem that cubicle Mecca. Scary.
NL I love your Prozac scratch and sniff sticker idea ... alas, I just write something lame and sign my name. Except those "sorry your loved one died cards" WTF! I mean, I sign because they stand there and make me sign it (yes, with a gun to my head), but I feel so awkward, rarely do I even know who it's going to, and obviously I will not know their dead relative. So I do my standard quote from The Prophet -
"For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?
Only when you drink form the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance."
Unless of course I was one of the last to sign the card, then I just use the first part - 'cause I like putting the word "naked" on a condolence card.
-Cubicle Dweller
leave a response