Fresno vs. Bakersfield round-up: Justin Fahsbender gets Noveltown player of the game while you can win his sweaty claw! - By N.L. Belardes
*Contest details below:
Fresno fans get nasty with the Condor Claw
It was an ugly game from start to finish. Right away, the Turner family from Fresno accosted the Noveltown Condor Contest Claw. Yes, this is the very claw that you can win! It was a crotch grab from the claw, but the bird hand got flipped. I think it was a Dorktown ploy: send in secret agents from Fresno to cause as much trouble as possible. Could these guys be from the Fresno Wiffle Ball League?
What can you do?
The claw just doesn't listen. It has its own mind. Just look at this other fountain the claw insisted on grabbing. What was this, a two-for-one reach around evening?
The claw grabs another fountain then jumps on the 'no touching' sign...
Eventually Matildakay, armed with a towel soaked in Fabreeze cleaned as much of the outside of the claw as possible.
Matildakay arms herself against the stench of the crotch-rubbed claw
Later, player of the game, Justin "Fahzy" Fahsbender cleaned the inside of the claw with his hand soaked in a rare whale oil. That was of course, right before he scored the first goal in a broom ball brouhaha against a bunch of Fresno punks during the second intermission of Fresno's demolishing of the Bakersfield Condors.
Although I had a great time, Justin's fiesty goal was the highlight of the entire evening. Forget the game and the minor 7-3 setback and 4th loss in a row for the Bakersfield birds. Let's celebrate Fahsbender, who earlier in the day was asked what he did to prepare for the playoffs along with the rest of the BakoBird staff:
A couple guys here in the front office decided not to shower until we win the cup. Others will stick to the traditional playoff beards. We all decided to forgo the playoff mohawk due to the fact that the only staff member that did the mohawk last year is no longer employed with the organization...
Interesting. I had a sighting of the ex-employee earlier in the evening and he once again had a full head of hair!
The Fahz swears he got no FresNoids from the claw
HOW TO WIN THE CLAW AND FRIDAY GAME TICKETS:
Winning is easy. Just quickly write what you would do for FOUR Condor playoff tickets and a Condor claw and send to nick@noveltown.net. The best answers will win. If you do win, we will announce on the site and you just pick up tickets at the will call window at the Rabobank Arena this Friday night. If you win the claw, you'll have to pick it up from Dirty Spanglish outside the arena before the game. Oh yeah, Dirty Spanglish performs at 5:30PM. Winners will be announced Wednesday night.
Noveltown will have a table inside on the concourse. And don't forget to see the cool Condor commercial promoting the Bakersfield Hockey CD. They even play snippets from the album during the game...
The claw has done quite the traveling...
As for the Turner family. Their mockery of the claw landed them in hot water with the BPD. One was escorted out, while another was cuffed for "Inappropriate Bird Claw Activity":
Fresno fans get nasty with the Condor Claw
It was an ugly game from start to finish. Right away, the Turner family from Fresno accosted the Noveltown Condor Contest Claw. Yes, this is the very claw that you can win! It was a crotch grab from the claw, but the bird hand got flipped. I think it was a Dorktown ploy: send in secret agents from Fresno to cause as much trouble as possible. Could these guys be from the Fresno Wiffle Ball League?
What can you do?
The claw just doesn't listen. It has its own mind. Just look at this other fountain the claw insisted on grabbing. What was this, a two-for-one reach around evening?
The claw grabs another fountain then jumps on the 'no touching' sign...
Eventually Matildakay, armed with a towel soaked in Fabreeze cleaned as much of the outside of the claw as possible.
Matildakay arms herself against the stench of the crotch-rubbed claw
Later, player of the game, Justin "Fahzy" Fahsbender cleaned the inside of the claw with his hand soaked in a rare whale oil. That was of course, right before he scored the first goal in a broom ball brouhaha against a bunch of Fresno punks during the second intermission of Fresno's demolishing of the Bakersfield Condors.
Although I had a great time, Justin's fiesty goal was the highlight of the entire evening. Forget the game and the minor 7-3 setback and 4th loss in a row for the Bakersfield birds. Let's celebrate Fahsbender, who earlier in the day was asked what he did to prepare for the playoffs along with the rest of the BakoBird staff:
A couple guys here in the front office decided not to shower until we win the cup. Others will stick to the traditional playoff beards. We all decided to forgo the playoff mohawk due to the fact that the only staff member that did the mohawk last year is no longer employed with the organization...
Interesting. I had a sighting of the ex-employee earlier in the evening and he once again had a full head of hair!
The Fahz swears he got no FresNoids from the claw
HOW TO WIN THE CLAW AND FRIDAY GAME TICKETS:
Winning is easy. Just quickly write what you would do for FOUR Condor playoff tickets and a Condor claw and send to nick@noveltown.net. The best answers will win. If you do win, we will announce on the site and you just pick up tickets at the will call window at the Rabobank Arena this Friday night. If you win the claw, you'll have to pick it up from Dirty Spanglish outside the arena before the game. Oh yeah, Dirty Spanglish performs at 5:30PM. Winners will be announced Wednesday night.
Noveltown will have a table inside on the concourse. And don't forget to see the cool Condor commercial promoting the Bakersfield Hockey CD. They even play snippets from the album during the game...
The claw has done quite the traveling...
As for the Turner family. Their mockery of the claw landed them in hot water with the BPD. One was escorted out, while another was cuffed for "Inappropriate Bird Claw Activity":
Labels: Bakersfield Condors, blog, Fresno Falcons, Fresno Famous, ice hockey, media, Noveltown
This entry was posted by N.L. Belardes, on
Tuesday, April 10, 2007.
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What the hell? You guys lose one game so ya gotta arrest some Falcon fan to make you feel better?
For shame Bako.
(read in fast talking "lawyer voice": Those Fresno Fans were in no way related to Dorktown or the Fresno Wiffleball League. We have no money for bail, but will buy them a beer apon their safe return to "The 'No"
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