N.L. Reviews Scariest Book Of 08: The Shell Game

Steve Alten is an author you can say has gone green—way green. In fact he’s gone so green that he’s dedicated his entire new novel, “The Shell Game” to his fight to help others realize that not only is oil becoming very scarce, it’s part of a big business and political front, that he believes, could lead to global conflict.

Talk about scary... read my Nick 2.0 post on The Shell Game.

YouTube On-Air Segment:

New twist in ABC23 Buzz Band blog controversy - By N.L. Belardes

Slammed as unethical, told a local band doesn't hurt for promotion, yet a tape mysteriously arrives at the ABC23 studios promoting the band in question.

Check out the controversy.

Just a bunch of band scene drama, a serious ethical question, or?

Jackie Parks of ABC23 is blogging? - By N.L. Belardes

Jackie Parks of ABC23 has her own blog that she started up today.

Now, she's brand new to the blog world. But that's OK. She has a great first piece titled, "First Day of School Blues." It's an honest piece about a worried mom (her) because her kid is about to start school.

Here's an excerpt:

For years, I silently shook my head at friends who cried when their children started their first day of kindergarten. I thought, “Really. They’re only 5 years old. This isn’t an empty nest. You have many, many years until you write the tuition check.”

But now that it’s me who has a firstborn child entering the hallowed halls of our public school system, I confess I am a mess. Not exactly a basket case – at least not yet. But come Monday morning, all bets are off.

Maybe you have kids starting school too. Maybe you're just interested in what Jackie is going to be blogging about...

(Read the full article and leave a comment)

Yes, I started working for ABC 23 as Managing Editor - By N.L. Belardes

Might as well tell you now as I'm going to start appearing on the news cast. So pay attention to the ABC 23 MySpace (www.myspace.com/kerotv23). Your comments might get on the air... I'll also be blogging from the news room. So stay tuned for that.

I'm writing and posting content to www.turnto23.com. There, Jason Sperber, are you happy now? hahaha...

In related news...

Gotta love shuttle landings. Check out the video. Big thanks to Erin for teaching me how to compress and post the file. It was a fun story to write.

Short and sweet and one more shuttle landing in Kern's rich aviation history.

Here's a funny video ABC 23 is making just for the Web called a Daily Dose of Bull...

Lauren Baratz-Logsted takes Noveltown into her world of Vertigo and beyond - By N.L. Belardes

Lauren Baratz-Logsted. Hers isn’t an easy name to learn or write. Call me a simpleton. Yet, if you said her name these days, I’d know exactly whom you were talking about. She’s a regular commenter on LitPark, a regular on myspace (She’s everywhere like a freakin’ ghost ninja), and a regular in the Noveltown Review with an article in the inaugural issue and a forthcoming article in our upcoming racier edition.

Her article, "The Working Writer: What Kind Of Writer Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?" is meant to help out writers who need the guidance to get successful. I know I need it. Who doesn’t need encouragement? I probably look forward to her next article more than anybody. On a personal level I’ve been through every emotion a novelist must face in the path of a hopeful literary career. I told writer Samantha Dunn recently, “Noveltown is built out of the lint of our pockets.” And so are most writing careers. It’s tough work. People like Lauren help us through the process of acceptance and understanding what it’s all about.


Baratz-Logsted's characters reveal the dark in all of us

It’s what you learn from people that matters. And some writers, well, they just ooze with wisdom. That’s Lauren Baratz-Logsted. I’m in dire need of picking her brain, cloning her brain cells, and injecting them into my own. I could use some of her writing prowess, her determination to succeed, and I’m guessing here, but some of her skills at being a perfectionist.


Hidden love of Lauren? Or primal fear?

I recently finished Lauren’s book, Vertigo. It's been getting mostly raves with a few dissenters on Amazon. Love or hate Vertigo, it’s masterfully written, a complete blend of historical fiction with erotic suspense. It takes skill to mimic culture and language, knowledge to provide historical detail, and ingenuity to delve such in a path of formulaic writing. Vertigo’s prim and proper language and spellbinding characterization of a corrupt novelist from yesteryear and his curious unsatisfied wife makes for a daring psychological journey into literary formula and storytelling.


A snowy day in the East...

Literary formulas aren’t bad. When done well there are purposeful twists within. They lead your mind down roads where the reader naturally stereotypes the outcome. If done well, as in Vertigo, then such works have the ability to set up and shock the reader’s own expectations of where a story is headed. Sure, there’s a formula in Vertigo. And Baratz-Logsted purposely strays. That’s a good formula story. Your mind goes one way, the story goes another. The reader gets fooled and thus should have a better time reading. Yet it’s still locked in a genre—the water rises along a yardstick of thought, drops, pushes back up in a swell of conflict, all within the range of the formula.

I won’t go on and on. Rather I’ll allow Lauren Baratz-Logsted to speak for herself.

Here’s Baratz-Logsted's interview with Noveltown:

Noveltown: How do you get away with writing both Victorian era fiction with erotic overtones and young adult novels? Aren’t you going to make granny librarians and young mothers angry at you?

Baratz-Logsted: To answer the first question, I get away with it simply by believing that if a writer is willing to work hard, and I am, she deserves to get the opportunity to stretch her writing muscles all over the place; that, and no one has asked me recently to change my name so they can “brand” me as a certain type of writer. As for the second question, I’ve been mostly lucky with granny librarians – oh, and by the way, as a former sort-of librarian, on behalf of all librarians everywhere may I slap you for that – and young mothers. I’ve also been very lucky with men, who mostly aren’t threatened by my books in the way some women are. I’ve had less success with ultra-conservatives, but you can’t please everyone and I perversely hope I never write the book that does. Honestly, if I don’t ruffle at least a few people, I’m probably not doing my job.



Noveltown: How do you tackle the idea of formula?

Baratz-Logsted: It’s an impossible question for me to answer and you’ll have to forgive me if I say I don’t think of what I do as writing to a formula. It’s publishers that decide how they’re going to market books, not authors. I write the stories I’m moved and excited to tell; the rest – how the book is positioned etc – comes after the writing. Here’s an example: a lot of my books are classified as Chick-Lit. If we classify these books as “contemporary fiction that addresses issues facing modern women, characterized by a humorous or satiric tone,” then I guess I fit the formula. But if you add the stereotype “in which lots of shopping ensues, people drink designer drinks and the heroine is searching for Mr. Right” then we’re going to be in trouble since my characters only go shopping when they need a disguise, they drink cheap wine and Diet Pepsi, and any romances are always subordinate to the main theme. There’s also never a clear-cut HEA (Happily Ever After), which is frustrating to readers who need a formula; indeed, nearly all my books are open-ended.


Lauren hanging out with her brother...

Noveltown: So what’s the story about your novel, Vertigo? Where did the idea come from? I mean, was the market hurting for historical fiction?

Baratz-Logsted: No, not hurting; in fact, I’d say it’s become a popular genre, particularly if there’s an erotic edge. The idea first came to me when I was vacationing in Florida in fall of 2000. I wanted to write a story about a woman trapped by living a life that she realizes has been more thrust upon her rather than coming from her own conscious choosing. That’s a common theme in my books: people making decisions by popular consensus who need to learn to be more active in choosing their own destinies. But Emma’s particular story – and I don’t want to give too much away here, but you’ll understand since you’ve read it – wouldn’t work if I cast it as a contemporary tale. Readers would naturally say, “Why doesn’t she just leave if she doesn’t like it?” Her story being set in Victorian times, such a choice is simply unavailable to Emma and so she must do, um, other things.



Noveltown: Who is Chance Wood? Could you fall in love with him?

Baratz-Logsted: In love? I don’t know. I do think Chance is a dangerously charming devil. And there was at least one fan that wrote a letter asking if I could arrange for her to have sex with him. Who is Chance Wood? For Emma, he’s the cause of her awakening, the catalyst for the realization that so much of her world is not of her own making…and it’s time to make a few changes.

Noveltown: One day you made a decision in your life about becoming a writer. Who was the biggest influence on that decision?

Baratz-Logsted: When I was 12 years old, in eighth grade, I had a teacher who liked one of my stories so much he made the class listen to it three days running. That was the first time it occurred to me that I might have stories to tell that people would want to hear. Twenty years later, I made the decision for myself to take my writing seriously. I walked out on a day job that came with full medical benefits, a decent salary, and four weeks’ paid vacation a year. I realized that life is too short not to pursue your dreams full force.

Noveltown: Who in your opinion has the ability to become not just a writer, but a novelist? What does it take? Wheaties? Ego? Tough knuckles?

Baratz-Logsted: All of that. You need belief in yourself and perseverance, the willingness to put one writing foot in front of the other even when all outward signs – say, in the form of rejection or if your mailman tells you that you stink – are telling you to just give up and eat a Twinkie. Oh, and if you have talent too, that’s a plus. I think most people when they first start writing don’t realize that most writers need to serve a long apprenticeship before breaking in. I wrote seven novels before my sixth sold. Since then, I’ve had seven books published with more to come. None of that would have happened if I’d given up after book five. There’s a message here, people: Don’t pull a John Kennedy Toole and kill yourself. Keep writing new books, keep dreaming big dreams.

Noveltown: You’re someone who markets herself on the Internet a lot. I have to ask... I hear about the disgruntled commercial writers out there. What’s your take? Are big publishing houses leaving their writers to market their own work? And if so, is self-marketing a bad thing?

Baratz-Logsted: I’m not disgruntled but I’ve certainly met my share of writers who are. It’s a tough business, not on the order of laying tar in Texas in August, but tough nonetheless. I don’t know if I’d say publishers leave their writers on their own to market their books, but it’s just the obvious business model that they’ll throw more efforts behind a book they’ve paid $250,000 for than a book with one less zero. The Internet has been a wonderful thing for writers like me and while I support conventional reviews, I’ve found the blogosphere on a whole to be more democratic. Very few print publications have paid attention to my work, although I’ve had terrific views from the ones I’ve scored. But by and large, I might as well not exist in those places; this despite the fact that I’ve broken a few molds that should make me notable to them: RDI changed their own successful trade-only business model to publish my debut The Thin Pink Line, which received a starred Kirkus, in hardcover, and I write in so many different areas, that alone should draw attention. But no. On the other hand, bloggers seem to have embraced the fact that I’m trying to do unexpected things with my books and that I have a lot to say about writing and the industry that might be of interest to their readers. In terms of self-marketing being a bad thing, I think that’s only the case if 1) it takes you away too much from the writing, which should be your main focus if you want to be a writer; or 2) there are aspects of it you don’t enjoy and yet you’re doing it anyway. I hear too often from writers who find their blogging or myspace efforts etc to be a burden. If that’s how you feel, don’t do it. Believe me, your lack of genuine energy for it will show. Instead, find areas of marketing you do enjoy. Or, you know, be Cormac McCarthy, indulge your hermit side, and then get picked by Oprah.

Noveltown: What’s your take on LitPark, The Nervous Breakdown and Noveltown? Are they three separate entities? Are they part of a whole? Are they a manifestation of too many rebels in the literary world…? Talk…

Baratz-Logsted: Can there be too many rebels in the literary world? Pshaw! LitPark is an amazing place where there’s a new theme every week and writers can come together in a safe environment to explore the ideas behind those themes. The Nervous Breakdown gives a lot of diverse writers a chance to stretch their creative nonfiction wings. As for Noveltown, well, that’s you, dear. Each place has it’s distinct personality and serves to scratch a different itch for those of us who love all these places.



Noveltown: What’s the Backspace Writers Conference?

Baratz-Logsted: It’s an annual conference with panels on writing literary fiction and various genres, editor panels and agent panels. It takes place over two days every year in New York City and I was on a panel there last year. Perhaps because of its location, it attracts more agents and editors that you normally see at these things. I can’t recommend it or the site that started it all highly enough to writers at every stage of their careers. This year’s conference takes place May 31-June 1, so if you haven’t booked already, go for it!



Noveltown: Talk us through a typical day in your life, and please, list here all the literary entities you’re affiliated with… and end with what’s next in your career. That should take up about ten pages, right? Oh, and thanks for talking to us today!

Baratz-Logsted: Typical day: Wake up early, clear up as much overnight email as possible and exercise for an hour before getting my daughter up for school; back to work at seven a.m. and work straight through until it’s time to pick her up at four. If I’m in the midst of a novel, sometimes I’ll write more at night too. In between the writing, I’ll do interviews like this one or email with my agent or network on behalf of other writers, pitching their work to agents/editors. I’ll also take breaks between sections and flit around at Backspace, LitPark, Noveltown, The Nervous Breakdown etc. If there’s time I’ll check out GalleyCat or Ed Champion’s Return of the Reluctant for literary news. I will make sure at three o’clock that I’m doing paperwork, so I can have General Hospital on in the background. In and around it all, I read-read-read, still a victim to the schedule I set myself in 2005 of 365 books a year.


Greg Logsted, writer of Sock Puppets in Love


Another bold writer in the family?

What’s next: Secrets of My Suburban Life, my second YA novel, is due out in January from Simon & Schuster and is about a teen whose novelist mother is crushed to death by a stack of Harry Potter books – when her father moves her to CT, she becomes embroiled in a sort-of mystery involving an online predator; my first tween book, also from S&S, is due out in March – it’s called Me, In Between and is about a precociously well-breasted 12-year-old who is conflicted by that fact; my next Chick-Lit book for RDI, Baby Needs a New Pair of Choos, is about the perils of having an addictive personality and is due out sometime in 2008. My husband Greg Logsted, if I may add, has his debut coming out in June 2008: Sock Puppets in Love, a tween book for S&S about a boy whose father died the previous school year and who is now faced with a gorgeous English teacher who has the eye for him. Finally, Houghton Mifflin just acquired the first four books in a series for young readers, which is being written by me with Greg and our seven-year-old daughter Jackie. The series is called The Sisters Eight and is about octuplets, the Huit sisters, whose parents disappear on New Year’s Eve when Dad goes out to the woodshed and Mom goes into the kitchen for eggnog. Phew! OK, I think I just exhausted myself. Thanks for having me, Nick. You’re a doll.


Order now: Vertigo.

Heath Dobbler returns from his drunk writer grave to march in a moron parade - By N.L. Belardes

You remember Bakersfield punk rocker Heath Dobbler of the band the In-Denials? He had a blog called Dobblers Drunk Corner that he canned for no good reason.

Whether you loved or hated Dobbler, his was a Bakersfield voice in the crowd that was fun to read. He's now back with a new blog called the Moron Parade. His first entry is simply titled, "I'm back."

Dobbler writes:

I think as a blogger, a writer, a journalist, a musician, an artist, or just an expressive person in general, we do what we do because we sort of feel that we see things in certain pictures and feel compelled to share it with the rest of the world. We do this, in order to invite others to think as we do. I mean honestly, I truly believe that if I could somehow con the rest of the planet to think as I do, the world as a whole might be a more inviting place to inhabit.

What do you think, can writers change the world?

Three new Bakersfield magazines, three different flavors - By N.L. Belardes

Check out these three new Bakersfield magazines: Trash Magazine Issue #1 by Jon-O-Panic, Bakotopia Issue #1, and the premiere of The Noveltown Review...

Vindictive Films shows their angry side - By N.L. Belardes

I'm sensing this is just the beginning from Bakersfield's Vindictive Films. Looks like Hectic Films has some more friendly competition...

Noveltown talks to marketing company, Visual Resource about Flash animation for Adobe - By N.L. Belardes

Marketing gurus, Kellyann Lamb and Scott Gagner become
a visual resource to meteorologists everywhere...

Educational eye candy. I love it. When I think of flashy videos that can teach you, or that promote a marketing agenda in a fun way, I think of the stylized instructional film on the Indiana Jones Adventure ride. You walk through tunnels and ruins in a hidden archaeological dig, and, to help you buy into the idea that you are an explorer—and that you need to be safe on the ride—there’s a video about how you’re supposed to work the seatbelts on the mock jeeps. It’s a brilliant production and keeps with the theme.

Creativity in stylized films and animations aren’t new to the marketing world. It’s not just about Disneyland or Las Vegas where themes can be overbearing in a sort if Willy Wonka landscape of animated information.

Stylized marketing and creativity can even reach right into your home via the Internet. Noveltown has its own Flash intro page that we hope to expand upon. Ken Seward of Solomon Grundy Film from Savannah College is working on that. As long as you have the right kind of creative team, Flash can be a versatile tool to use when creating interfaces and productions that need some extra punch.

With the release of Acrobat 8 comes the stylized Flash piece, “The Ultimate Formula.” You can watch the instructional video on Adobe’s promotional page for their new version of Acrobat. Or you can go to the site of the marketers who developed the video: Visual Resource.

What’s the animation meant to do? Teach people that Adobe 8 can help streamline marketing processes along with Acrobat Connect. Connect documents, people, ideas…



The Adobe site reads:

Whether you're in product marketing, public relations, brand development, or corporate communications, you face pressure to work faster, juggle multiple projects simultaneously, and generate high-quality work on tight deadlines. Adobe Acrobat 8 Professional software can help by streamlining and expediting many of the creative processes managed by marketing professionals, enabling you to gain control and finish projects faster.

Cool, but I wanted to know more about the creative process with Visual Resource… so I explored further.

Here’s my interview with Visual Resource President Kellyann Lamb and art director Scott Gagner:

Noveltown: Visual Resource had to create a Flash animation that captured the corporate world in a light-hearted way. Yet, this is a corporate product. How did you juggle ideas that some could deem offensive, and then storyboard those out?

Scott Gagner: When Adobe signed on they saw what we’d done was often over the top and pretty innovative. They knew what they were getting into. And that takes a lot of trust. They wanted us to have fun with our designs and were willing to take the ride.

There were subtle things along the way in the animation to make sure Adobe knew we weren’t poking fun or saying they were old fashioned. Really, those variations are barely perceptible on listener part. The character takes a specific tone in the voice-over when walking through the demo. It’s not as over the top in the wrapper section intros.



Kellyann: Adobe is pretty sophisticated in what’s going on in the marketing realm. It takes a lot to bedazzle them… from there we had a lot of creative license… We do have a relationship with Adobe brand information within their organization that was successful, so we were introduced to product marketers. Focusing on interactive media, they wanted something savvy and different. It became a great opportunity to be challenged and to wow Adobe and this vertical market…

Noveltown: Within the animation piece is the idea that PDFs have come a long way, yet the style is an overly nice 1950s science teacher caught on film. What’s the relationship with progressive knowledge and marketing style?

Scott: We were showing modern innovation with drastic contradictory old style. A juxtaposition of old and new creates something unique. We wanted something timeless and unique… The style of the piece is very rich. There are a lot of elements you can draw from and build in the humor factor. Everyone has seen these kinds of films in Driver’s Education and Heath Education classes…

Noveltown: How important is Flash? Does it revolutionize the Web, or is Flash just fancy eye candy for information?

Scott: The way we look at Flash is it’s just another tool. It comes down to the big idea, in the case of Noveltown or anybody. If you only needed three panels with an animated gif, then you don’t necessarily need Flash. There are nice advantages. Low impact as far as bandwidth and crisp edged vectors…

Kellyann: We’re innovative… it’s most important to come up with a solid concept to get clients results. It’s more of who are you trying to reach and how are they going to respond. We do Flash quite a bit, but it’s not a prerequisite.



Noveltown: Who is Doctor Arnold modeled after? Is there any secret science teacher information here, or is the doctor one of the Visual Resource staff used as a cut-out animation? Any info on the artistic process?

Scott: We didn’t make it an in-house joke. The piece needed a universal relevance. We cast it to find the right person, a guy who could fit the character, and hearken back to their old math teachers.

Artistically there are subtleties of collage and cut-out.

We tried to embody with nerdy scientific values. We used different proportions of head to body ratios to accentuate brainy. That includes the way we cut his jaw out as we used collage styles. We really associate with Terry Gilliam’s animations from Monty Python. That gave this character a stiffness—we didn’t want any fluidity. And so we sort of created our own world where physics and anatomy don’t apply: he sort of slides from side to side…

Noveltown: How will this animation be viewed culturally around the world? Will there be any problems interpreting the humor?

Scott: During the creative process the response was overwhelmingly positive regardless of cultural backgrounds. We’re internationally aware so that no offensive hand signal or anything like that was used. There’s an international universality…

Noveltown: What’s “The Ultimate Formula” going to do for Visual Resource in the long run?

Kellyann: Exposure in the marketplace about our creativity as a company. Today everyone is getting influenced by email, TV ads, and so on…We need to step out and have an outreach that is entertaining and effective. This was a great opportunity for that.


There's an apparent creative culture that exists with Visual Resource
that doesn't exist in many marketing and advertising companies/departments. Oops, did I say that? It's true. Just ask Kellyann and Scott about avocado art...

Noveltown: And your company blog? When is that starting up?

Kellyann: Six months…! There’s a diverse group at Visual Resource. We want a forum where different team members can post things like what they were inspired by…

UFO sighted over downtown Bakersfield? - By N.L. Belardes

Maybe tonight we'll see the Bakerfield lights. You know, kind of like the Phoenix Lights, only better...

What's strange to me is I just submitted a memoir and somewhat humorous piece to The Nervous Breakdown website. It hasn't been posted yet, though the title is "The Mexican cowboy burial grounds, Bakersfield aliens, crashed spaceships and the giant Haus burger".

The Nervous Breakdown enjoys long titles and currently only runs creative non-fiction pieces. You should check them out. Brad Listi started the site. He's an amazing guy, wrote a decent book Attention. Deficit. Disorder. and will be featured in my review of the Noveltown mixer.

This morning I received an interesting email from Bryan Tebow. He was in downtown Bakersfield and took a photo of an object that he claims flew above the Chester and Truxton area.

He first wrote:

Hey I saw these flying over Bakersfield, took some pictures with my
phone. Wonder if anyone else sighted them.

Right away I was skeptical. I mean, come on, sure I have been researching even Ronald Regan seeing a UFO over Bakersfield. But I don't actually believe... so I sorta just joked around:

That's a flyin' ranch style dorito... they're light and airy.

I asked him for more info. He finally wrote back about being on top of the Washington Mutual building after someone in his office spotted the UFO:

Around 9ish this morning downtown saw this black triangle thing, a few
off us went to the roof to check it out. Don't know how big it was 20
feet in length maybe, at least few hundred feet up , heading SE ish.

I should of took video but by the time it dawned on me to take
pictures, it was way to small for video.

What do you think?

Photos:


First video phone photo


First video phone photo: cropped


Second video phone photo: cropped

Amy Wallen talks sugary goodness and her LA Times Bestselling book, Moonpies and Moviestars - By N.L. Belardes

Amy Wallen's new book is an LA Times Bestseller

I first met Amy Wallen online. Oh wait, that's the only place I've met her, other than reading her book, Moonpies and Moviestars. You know, reading any book is like stepping right into the skull of a writer. In this case, one obviously from the South, and one who has hit the streets of Hollywood with a notepad and eye for detail.

Let's face it, if you're in Bakersfield and you're a fan of the Paperback Writer blog, then you might know someone very much like, oh, let's say, a Texan, or an Oklahoman. And, you might have observed them having a starstruck opinion of Hollywood--a mere 100 miles south of Bakersfield. You know those people. They tend to have never even been to Hollywood. C'mon admit it. And yes, there are many exceptions to this rule.


Amy Wallen, with wings made of leaves

For those of you who don't know. Hollywood is south of the agricultural and oilfield landscape of Bakersfield, an area once filled to the brim with Joads-like immigrants of the Dust Bowl. Bakersfield has since grown a teeny bit more metropolitan, though I have to say, raised monster trucks are still a daily sighting in the land of Buck Owens.

Why am I bringing all this up?

Because if you're familiar with the South and with Hollywood, then you are more apt to get the comic humor and real-life dialogue from Moonpies and Moviestars. You'll just get it. Wallen's story in turn will appear less the stereotype and more, "Hey, those characters are people from my family." Or, "Those characters I swear live right up the street from me." Or maybe even, "That is me."


I don't understand this photo, but Amy sent it to me and weird photos are cool

It's not a long stretch from the good old Okie mentality that still permeates Bakersfield. The South has forever swathed its paintbrush onto Central Valley California culture. You can't escape it. You just live with it. Or you are it.

Amy Wallen's road-trip story is pure comedy, pure fun and a psychological Winnebago voyage through characters as strange as any dysfunctionally functional Southern nuclear family.

I'm not lying.

With that said, here's a fun Noveltown interview with Amy Wallen:

Interview:

Noveltown: Ms. Wallen, you have quite the tale you have spun. It’s kind of Southern, it’s sort of Hollywood. It’s a tour de force mystery comedy literary hijinks of what happens to a runaway. Yes, did I say funny? Funny seems to be lost in many people’s vocabularies these days. Yes, a funny book that hides serious issues regarding runaway children. Now, if you’d be so bold, please, allow the real Amy Wallen to comment regarding the idea of serious issues hidden in the comedy of your novel.

Amy: I love humor to tell serious stuff because it’s a great way to trick the reader into feeling the bad feelings. You get them to laugh hard, and then you drop a real sad doozy and they start to bawl because they didn’t have their guard up. But if you are writing a serious novel, then they are waiting for the doozies and they have steel mail over their hearts. It’s about getting people to be open to their emotions.



Noveltown: Moonpies… and Moviestars… Porkchops… and Applesauce… I’m seeing a connection here. In fact, I’m guessing your subconscious behaviors are rooted in a certain episode of The Brady Bunch, quite possibly indicating a hidden love for the 1971 version of Peter Brady. Now, I’d like to cut through the crap. Do you still madly love Peter Brady, and tell us how you named your novel and the process in doing so.

Amy: I had the hots for his older brother, Greg. But I wanted to be Marsha Brady, so maybe I have some weird incestuous thing going on inside of me. My original title was DEAD ARMADILLOS AND MOONPIES. I loved that title, but I guess the word “dead” sells to a different crowd than the publisher wanted my book to sell to. My agents came up with MOONPIES AND MOVIE STARS and I think it’s pretty damn good (can I say damn here?) with the alliteration and poking fun at a couple of themes running throughout the story.

Noveltown: Of course you can say, damn. Your book is on the Los Angeles Times Bestseller list and you’re going to be on a panel at the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books this April. Please talk to us about your festival appearance in real terms. While you consider your answer, let me tell you I have talked considerably with my compadres here at Noveltown. We thought it would be a good idea to attend your discussion on humor dressed as Moonpies eating Moonpies. Sort of a… shall we say, cannibalistic sugary show and tell, from the audience perspective of course. Quite honestly, such a display would be meant to protest your work of prose art. And possibly to build from there, a step further, yes, as an ongoing exhibit at the Getty Museum. Your book would be suspended above an entire Moonpie carnage fracas like a swinging block of moony cheese.

Amy: Oh I’d love it!!! Please come!! There’s something quite ironic about MoonPies eating MoonPies since so many people tend to shun them. Or at least in California where they would prefer they were made with wheat germ or avocados. And if you can get some sort of carnage image that represents my book sounds quite intriguing. Don’t you love the word “carnage”? I suppose I’ll never get to use that in a title either.




I wonder if this is the only serious photo Wallen has ever taken?

The LA Times Festival of Books takes place Saturday, April 28 and Sunday, April 29.

I’m more than honored to be on the Fiction and Humor panel. I’ve attended as an audience member several times and it’s just so high energy, inspiring and stimulating to readers and writers alike. I’d be giddy as I frolicked around the UCLA campus to each panel. My panel is on Saturday morning at 10:30 am in Young Hall CS 24. Fellow participants are Allison Burnett, Merrill Markoe and Pamela Ribon. The moderator is Barbara De-Marco-Barrett. I hope I can contain my giddy frolicking.

Noveltown: We don’t mean any harm in our Moonpie protest and come to think of it, we don’t really have time to bother with sewing Moonpies onto our sweat jumpsuits. But I do have a question. What made you choose Moonpies rather than some other kind of preservative injected pastry or breakfast cereal for an obsession by one of your characters? I mean, consider your options: Ho-Hos and Hollywood, which really goes along with some rather naughty Hollywood behavior and risqué madam and star guestlists. Or Snowballs and Sin City. I won’t play with the humor there. So, talk to me, in a real way of course about your characters obsessions…

Amy: My grandmother owned a honky tonk on Highway 90 in South Texas. On the bar were two rounders, one with pork rinds and barbecue potato chips and the other had honey buns and MoonPies. I had honey buns for breakfast, and have to admit they were my fave, but MoonPies had a much better name. And there’s that old song, MoonPies and RC Cola.

You asked me about my characters’ obsessions. Hmmm. Well, one of them would probably have preferred to have been a book titled Snowballs and Sin City. She’s obsessed with men and having a good time. Another one is obsessed with cleanliness. Or she was during a couple of drafts, but I got tired of keeping her motor home clean when I couldn’t even keep my own house clean. And then there’s the narcissist of the bunch and she’s obsessed with herself. The little girl is obsessed with her Mrs Beasley doll (Remember Family Affair with Mr French and Jody and Buffy? Didn’t Buffy OD?). The little boy in my book is obsessed with digging the hearts out of roadkill. The roadkill has to be very fresh because he’s hoping to find a heart that’s still beating so he can hold it. Has it gotten weird enough yet? That’s probably the weirdest thing, and lots of folks wanted me to take that out, because they thought the little boy would grow up to be a serial killer. But I figured, he was being an angry little boy and if he did grow up to be a serial killer, well that would be another book to write, wouldn’t it?



Noveltown: Family Affair. Some of us at Noveltown to have to watch that because our sisters liked it. Barf. Oh the roadkill theme is magnifique! Perhaps a sequel where the obsessed kid grows up to be a weird writer guy... Speaking of weird writer guys, who is James?

Amy: I have no idea who James is. I was walking into Trader Joes grocery store one day and he kept pestering me to give him some change or to buy him some food, so I finally told him if he would push my cart, carry my groceries to my car and do an interview that sold a few million copies of my book, I’d give him a box of cereal, but only the kind with antioxidants because he has a horrible rash that runs up one side of his face.

Honestly, James Spring is one of the funniest writers you’ll ever meet. The sarcastic and insulting remarks just spill out of his mouth and pen (maybe those are just directed at me?). What I can’t figure out is how there can be so many brilliant editors out there, and they aren’t picking up his book and getting it out to the masses. www.crossingthegap.com The only answer is that they want to lose money. [Secret: I’m really sabotaging his whole book effort so that he won’t be more successful and quit helping me with all our great endeavors. But don’t tell. Shhh.]



Noveltown: What is James?

Amy: Def. 1 Noun. A type of beany that women in the 16th century wore to signify their chastity belt was chaffing. A kind of call for help.

Def. 2 Verb. Being an adroit writer while writing derogatory remarks on a friend’s myspace site. www.myspace.com/jamesrspring (he needs more friends and please feel free to post rude comments).


I took this photo last night. That's my kid. We were all at Zingo's after his punk band, Dirty Spanglish performed at Studio 99. Those of you who know this truck stop cafe on Buck Owens Boulevard will understand when I say Moonpies and Moviestars is like taking your family to Zingos...

Noveltown: San Dee-ahh-go. Oh that delightful should-have-been-a-prose character, Anchorman. Such delights. Tell me, what does San Dee-ahh-go and First Friday mean to you? Only the real deal please about literary San Dee-ahh-go…

Amy: This is a hot question in San Diego now.

Someone (I won’t name any names, but a semi-newly appointed UCSD writing program professor) called San Diego’s writing community a sweet-smelling rotting corpse. She took that from the city’s namesake St. Didacus and the history she read on Wikipedia. A non-Wikiality version is that St D’s corpse was never rotting—that’s the part that got him canonized— and while his body awaited burial he emitted this sweet smell.

I won’t say that San Diego is the place where miracles happen, but I will say that the writing community is as vibrant as the freeway center-divider oleander in mid-May, and when the night blooming jasmine is wafting through the evening air, you can get a little loopy. I suspect we have to be even more disciplined as writers because we have to tell ourselves that even though it’s 80 degrees, blue sky and the orange blossoms smell sweeter than old St. Didacus, we must endure the indoors and write. Isn’t there some kind of suffering involved in that?

Whatever the reason, suffering or bliss, San Diego has some truly witty, insightful, original and poetic writers, all of which can be witnessed the first Friday of the month at First Friday Open Mic Prose reading. www.firstfridayprose.com

I started the First Friday ongoing event almost 3 years ago now at the request of San Diego Writers Ink (a writing organization extraordinaire— www.sandiegowriters.org ). The monthly event has grown stronger and wittier every month to the point we are SRO now—50-60 folks reading and/or listening. Anyone who wants to share their writing finds their way there eventually. San Diego Writers Ink sponsors the event and provides wine and cheese. But it’s the writing of the attendees that brings the crowd. That, and my stupid poodle-in-the-microwave jokes in between pieces.

It is strictly prose, no poetry (I can tell when anyone tries to sneak it in and the rest of the evening that writer will be punished by my enduring sarcastic harassment.) I added the prose-only rule because so many opportunities exist for poets to read. Hell, a poet can stand on a street corner and read. But prose readers go to an open mic and they usually feel ostracized. It’s like folks are whispering behind your back, “What, no meter?, no rhythm? No intonation? No anger?” Plus, prose writers ramble on and on. That’s why I instituted the 3-minute rule, to shut them up. It works and so does the whole fete.

I’ve limited the readings to 3 minutes each. The regulars have nicknamed me the Time Nazi because you get my black satin, spiked-heel DSW Ferragamo Knock-off in the ass if you go over 3 minutes. It’s become a competitive sport in editing, and the writing and readings have become better and better because of it. We’re soon going to have to start urine testing to see who’s been snorting Strunk and White and shooting up Liquid Paper before the event. It’s full of laughs, fast-paced and exciting to see glimpses of the great writing coming out of San Diego.

We now record the evening and post the readings as mp3s on our website for readers’ moms to listen in and any and all to download and peruse at their leisure. We also have a myspace spot we’ve just started and are looking for friends and fellow writers.

All this to say, First Friday is just one of countless writerly goings-on in this city of spic-n-span. Neither our nifty smelling corpses or the sunshine and green lawns made possible only by the man-made sprinkler systems has made San Diego alive and real with a scene. We don’t need the smog and grit of LA or the fog of London or the sludge of the Hudson River to produce art. We’re like the Nike tennis shoe of writing communities—we just do it.

Noveltown: Or the dusty smog of California's Great Central Valley. Ahem...

It’s clear the Los Angeles Times is in love with you, that Moonpies, if alive with little sugary arms, legs and noses, would be in love with you too, and that we ourselves, might be in love with you… But only if you answer our final question in a most truthful and honest way. Discuss your future and your next delving into comedy.

Amy: Viking asked me to do a series based on the characters in MOONPIES. So, that’s what’s coming next. Same characters, same bat channel, same bat cave, but new batman. The main character will be the sister named Loralva that is a major character in MOONPIES. She drives a school bus in the 2nd book. It’s due out at the beginning of 2008. I also have a couple of more book ideas swimming around in my head. James says I can’t say that because it makes people throw up. But I’m itching to get many books down on paper and out there. All I can do is do my darnedest to be a really good writer and if it makes people throw up then they need to see a gastroenterologist.

Noveltown: Thanks for being a truthful, honest, and real author with a sense of humor… We do love you.

Amy: I don’t know about real. One of my main ingredients is “cocoa processed with alkali.” At least that’s what it says on the outside of my package. Baked at Chattanooga Bakery in Chattanooga, Tennessee. Total Fat: 7g which is barely even 11% of your daily value though. And I have a marshmallow filling, which puts the non-fluff ranking of truthful and honest at risk. I’m not a Trans Fat and admit that I prefer to stay saturated.

Fresno deflated as Bakersfield Condors take 3-2 series lead after Noveltown's lucky Dirty Spanglish gig - By N.L. Belardes

Dirty Spanglish posing with Aaron Novak from The Silence Club right before their performance outside game 3 between the Fresno Falcons and the Bakersfield Condors

I just got done listening to streaming media radio: The Bakersfield Condors defeated the Fresno Falcons... again!

Fresno has officially fallen flatter than a Fresnoid grape. Talk about frustration. Maybe it's just luck?

Hockey luck? I once wore the same pair of lucky fish boxers 13 roller hockey games in a row. My team went 16-0. Sports jocks grow mohawks, beards, and wear lucky socks. It's part of the game: superstition...

The moment of luck quite possibly began when Lando from Dirty Spanglish, performing outside the Rabobank Arena said, "This is an oncore of our song 'The Big No' we played earlier dedicated to all you Fresno Falcons fans. This time we're dedicating this song to that fan over there..."

Watch Dirty Spanglish perform in Aaron Novak's video about Noveltown, Dirty Spanglish, ice hockey and lunchtime:




Matt Munoz poses with the Condor Claw giveaway, presented by Noveltown






Jordo from Black Dog takes a grab with the claw. He captures the essence of Bakersfield fans down 2-0 in a playoff series: frustration. Who would have guessed that by the time I posted this, the Bakersfield Condors would be up 3-2 in the series?

It was the second time Dirty Spanglish performed their song "The Big No" to the fans passing through to the arena. One Fresno Falcon fan said, "Fresno has Bakersfield's number. Bakersfield is a good team, but Fresno is just way better." He had the song dedicated to him. Later in the game, he got into a bit of a shouting match with Bakersfield fans.

Not sure if he was arrested like other Fresno fans: too confident.

I could see why Fresno Falcons and their fans likely had swollen egos. They had been winning big.

But now Bakersfield was about to deflate them. And that started with Dirty Spanglish blasting their hit "The Big No," as part of Noveltown bringing Bakersfield music to the Bakersfield Condors, who up to that moment were on a two game losing streak to the nasty Falcons from the Big No...

Aaron Novak, Squirrley, Matt Munoz, chingpea and Matildakay were on hand to watch one of Bakersfield's cool kid punk rock bands. Hey, where are The Pants? I haven't seen them in a while.

The show was great. Fans lined up by the front doors, hung out on benches, by the fountain, and generally enjoyed the festive pre-game air. It was the perfect moment to have youth on punk fire. Especially since Puck passed by, clearly deflated and depressed since the Condors had just lost two games straight, even trying to arrest Fresno fans to help out with a win. Less fans means more Bakersfield support, right?






Lando dedicates "The Big No" to all Fresno Falcon Fans, especially those listening to the band




Baby Cal comes out and dances to the song, "Electric".


...while Emily Tebow runs like the dickens to win her Condor claw!!

Game three itself was just as great as games four and five were over streaming media. The Condors simply manhandled the Falcons, and the Fresno Falcons fans who all arrived with inflated egos were left deflated. Believe me, that's how I felt after games one and two. Those were decimations. I wasn't sure if the Condors could pull out a game three victory after losing 7-3 and 9-3. Ouch.








I was nervous before the game. Until I donned this paper helmet.


The Fresno Falcons fans? What can I say? Mike Seay has got to be eating his hat right now. Show him some love.

Condors are back in Bakersfield for game six on Thursday.

Fresno? They're The Big No. They better hope Dirty Spanglish doesn't pass out CDs with their song on it.

Gaylen Young and Don Martin talk highbrow art at Bakersfield's Metro Galleries - By N.L. Belardes

Channel 17's Gaylen Young talks to Don Martin

On April 12^th, the same day as the Noveltown mixer, I met legendary Bakersfield newscaster Gaylen Young from KGET channel 17 outside of the original location of Metro Galleries. It was a strange windy day to be near Eye and 20^th Street. Freeways were closed and there were a lot of accident reports coming in from news sources. Gaylen himself had to wait for his cameraman.

When he showed up, we greeted each other and walked inside. Right away we all realized we were in the wrong place, because even though the sign outside still read “Metro Galleries”, inside was an empty husk of an art gallery.

Gaylen apologized to a man sweeping the floor and soon enough we walked to a much better gallery location on nearby 1604 19^th street.

As soon as we walked in, I was amazed at the ambiance of the new Metro Galleries. Don Martin greeted Gaylen, the cameraman and I, and right away we talked about the modern art of Mike Barker and Veronika Constantine. Their works adorned both walls in a lengthy room that is soon to host events in its gallery, wine and coffee bar. It’s a perfect venue for upscale events. As Gaylen Young put it, “Bakersfield is getting highbrow.”

“We had a lot of floods at the old gallery,” said Don Martin. “We also wanted to expand but couldn’t. So we moved to this new location.”

Is downtown Bakersfield changing before our eyes?

There are outlets around town for local art and even other art galleries at the colleges, but not quite the highbrow feel of Metro Galleries. Closest might be the Bakersfield Museum of Modern Art. Does that mean the gallery is pretentious and pushy? Not at all. The gallery is roomy, eye-appealing, and Don Martin is a gracious host. There’s artsy furniture, exquisite art, and a feeling that this is where gallery-goers will want to go after dressing up for a nice dinner.

If you want to intellectualize and socially network in a way that takes you outside of Bakersfield, go to Metro Galleries. You won't even have to leave town.

The Metro Galleries are also going to offer lofts. Bring the people to live downtown...

More:

By bringing such art to Bakersfield—similar to how The Noveltown Review brings many new fiction/non-fiction writers to town via a literary arts journal—Bakersfield culture gets an added cultural uplift.

That isn’t to say local art doesn’t have its place in other local venues. Just as the Paperback Writer blog is a place to talk about Bakersfield happenings, The Noveltown Review features literary arts on a whole new level for the Central Valley and Bakersfield. Like the Metro Galleries, The Noveltown Review is simply grounded in Bakersfield.

Now watch Gaylen Young interview Don Martin at the Metro Galleries:



More:

Gaylen Young talks about Noveltown and downtown art...

Gaylen Young of KGET 17 talks Noveltown and more - By N.L. Belardes

Full report coming soon of my interview with Gaylen Young today, talk of The Noveltown Review, and about the new Metro Art Gallery opening tomorrow night...

Watch Gaylen talk about the story he's working on:

Fresno vs. Bakersfield round-up: Justin Fahsbender gets Noveltown player of the game while you can win his sweaty claw! - By N.L. Belardes

*Contest details below:


Fresno fans get nasty with the Condor Claw

It was an ugly game from start to finish. Right away, the Turner family from Fresno accosted the Noveltown Condor Contest Claw. Yes, this is the very claw that you can win! It was a crotch grab from the claw, but the bird hand got flipped. I think it was a Dorktown ploy: send in secret agents from Fresno to cause as much trouble as possible. Could these guys be from the Fresno Wiffle Ball League?

What can you do?

The claw just doesn't listen. It has its own mind. Just look at this other fountain the claw insisted on grabbing. What was this, a two-for-one reach around evening?


The claw grabs another fountain then jumps on the 'no touching' sign...

Eventually Matildakay, armed with a towel soaked in Fabreeze cleaned as much of the outside of the claw as possible.


Matildakay arms herself against the stench of the crotch-rubbed claw

Later, player of the game, Justin "Fahzy" Fahsbender cleaned the inside of the claw with his hand soaked in a rare whale oil. That was of course, right before he scored the first goal in a broom ball brouhaha against a bunch of Fresno punks during the second intermission of Fresno's demolishing of the Bakersfield Condors.

Although I had a great time, Justin's fiesty goal was the highlight of the entire evening. Forget the game and the minor 7-3 setback and 4th loss in a row for the Bakersfield birds. Let's celebrate Fahsbender, who earlier in the day was asked what he did to prepare for the playoffs along with the rest of the BakoBird staff:

A couple guys here in the front office decided not to shower until we win the cup. Others will stick to the traditional playoff beards. We all decided to forgo the playoff mohawk due to the fact that the only staff member that did the mohawk last year is no longer employed with the organization...

Interesting. I had a sighting of the ex-employee earlier in the evening and he once again had a full head of hair!


The Fahz swears he got no FresNoids from the claw

HOW TO WIN THE CLAW AND FRIDAY GAME TICKETS:

Winning is easy. Just quickly write what you would do for FOUR Condor playoff tickets and a Condor claw and send to nick@noveltown.net. The best answers will win. If you do win, we will announce on the site and you just pick up tickets at the will call window at the Rabobank Arena this Friday night. If you win the claw, you'll have to pick it up from Dirty Spanglish outside the arena before the game. Oh yeah, Dirty Spanglish performs at 5:30PM. Winners will be announced Wednesday night.

Noveltown will have a table inside on the concourse. And don't forget to see the cool Condor commercial promoting the Bakersfield Hockey CD. They even play snippets from the album during the game...


The claw has done quite the traveling...

As for the Turner family. Their mockery of the claw landed them in hot water with the BPD. One was escorted out, while another was cuffed for "Inappropriate Bird Claw Activity":

Noveltown in the Fresno Undercurrent, also announcing new affiliation with the Kern County Board of Trade - By N.L. Belardes

We’re having a Business/Media Mixer event on April 12th at Benjamin's Restaurant promoting the inaugural release of The Noveltown Review. If you haven’t heard about it and you’re in a local business, just click the link. We might even post information here.

As a result of sending out invitations and talking about our The Noveltown Review, The Fresno Undercurrent did a little write-up in their April newspaper issue to talk about Noveltown and the magazine. Thanks Fresno!

Jessi writes:

Bakersfield-based publishing company Noveltown is now issuing the inaugural issue of its new literary journal, the Noveltown Review, which will feature fiction pieces as well as nonfiction articles. There is a Valley focus, yet Noveltown Review’s Spring 2007 issue includes contributors from across the country...

In other Noveltown news, we’re happy to announce a new affiliation with the Kern County Board of Trade. This is just another step in getting the word out that Noveltown does exist!

Remember the scene in Star Wars with C3PO yelling, “Hey over here!” to the big Jawa vehicle? That’s us. “Hey...Over he-e-e-e-re! Hey!”

Anyways, the Kern County Board of Trade has an online media guide and even a film commission. They also may be going back to a print version soon for their media guide. Of course we’re interested in more and more people reading our Media Blog and joining our print magazine community…

Sarah Thyre's Dark at the Roots memoir spawns first Noveltown comedy vid - By N.L. Belardes

Could this be Sarah Thyre without her dashing blonde wig?

Sarah Thyre is an actress/writer from the deep South, practically from the bayou itself. She's appeared on Conan O'Brien and has just released her first book, Dark at the Roots. It's the story of a kid you might not trust, living life to the fullest in the throngs of dysfunctionality. For some reason I gravitated more to Thyre's depiction of her own youthful years: unpredictable, hilarious, and sympathetic. I found myself reading portions out loud on a road trip to L.A., mesmerizing the driver and crew with a particularly crazy scene regarding a cat and an ice cooler. Thyre's teen years read a bit like other memoirs I've been tearing though: a bit predictable though still worthy of a good laugh.

I caught up with Sarah recently to ask her about her new memoir. Of course we'd done a little spying on her...

Interview:

Noveltown: Sarah, we’ve been spying on you. We’ve seen you on YouTube and on myspace where you’ve been doing a little bit of networking—all for the release of your hilarious just released memoir, Dark at the Roots. In a way, reading your book was like spying on your entire childhood. Or should I say, peeking in on the childhood of a bad kid. Were you a bad kid and how do you feel about Noveltown spying on you?

Sarah: No! I wasn't a bad kid! Manipulative, yes, but I had to do something to get ahead. I craved approval from people too much to be "bad." Also I knew I had to keep my permanent record clean if I was gonna get into college and escape.

Spy away!


Sarah Thyre seen with Bakersfield filmmaker, Rickey Bird of Hectic Films

Noveltown: Dark at the Roots gives insight into your literary interest as a youth. What made you write your memoir as opposed to a movie script, fiction novel, or Lemony Snicket-ish series of diatribes to your dark beginnings as a kid on the loose?

Sarah: I've always wanted to write a book. I love books. I'm too self-absorbed to write anything but a memoir.


Sarah Thyre with love interest, N.L. Belardes...

Noveltown: To help writers out who can’t get past page two in their own books, tell us what motivated you to follow through with your memoir. Did you have a book deal before you finished your manuscript?

Sarah: I sold the book based on a proposal and the first three chapters. For years, I'd been writing and performing stories for free, but it took getting an advance to make me sit down and put an actual book together. I could also justify getting a regular babysitter since I was making my own money and not just mooching off my husband.



Noveltown: What does your family think about the memoir? Are they gathering up copies for a Southern-style book burning? We want juicy details please.

Sarah: My siblings are all fine with it because they're fame whores who are looking forward to lower-mid-range wine and pre-cubed cheese parties. Little do they know the only thing they'll be eating is my dust!

Noveltown: Did you emulate any particular comedic writers/personalities in creating Dark at the Roots?

Sarah: David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs are of course inspirations for me, as someone who takes shit (sometimes literally) and makes it funny. I think I have a voice of my own though, which says: It's true people DO suck.

Noveltown: Sarah, I have to ask about when you literally caught us spying on you. What was going through your mind?

Sarah: As long as I wasn't plucking nipple hairs when you were watching, I don't mind. Not that I have any nipple hairs to pluck, mind you. What do you think, I'm some sort of hairy monster?

What's this? Sarah Thyre caught on video??


Dark At The Roots - The best video clips are right here

Noveltown: Aside from all the comedy in your book, there’s a tone of seriousness about dysfunctional families being normal. Care to comment?

Sarah: The title Dark at the Roots is tongue-in-cheek and what I call a lie that happens to be true. There was some bad stuff in my past, but it could've been a lot worse. I think when you're a kid in a dysfunctional family, you find out about it in bits and pieces, like if you see your friend's mom and dad kiss each other and smile like they enjoy each other's company, you realize there's something wrong in your house because your parents NEVER do that, unless they've drunk several highballs. Lucky for me, no matter how dysfunctional we were, my family prized having a sense of humor, which is probably the ultimate survival mechanism.

Noveltown: We think your memoir should be a bible for kids with your personality type. Describe your personality type.

Sarah: My personality type? I hate labels!

Noveltown: Thanks for hanging out with us.

Sarah: I think I'm lost. Do you know the way to Memoirtown?


The real Sarah Thyre's promo pic after make-up and airbrushing

The Silence Club and N.L. meet the same Bakersfield bum - By N.L. Belardes

The new Silence Club video is definitely worth a look. I get a cameo and so does Black Dog. The funniest part is not that The Silence Club invites a bum to the show. What cracks me up is that very morning (Saturday) I was out on a bike ride and the pedal snapped off my bike as I was going downhill on Chester Avenue near 34th Street. I was headed to the Kern River Recreational Path. Well, OK, that part was funny, but that's not what I meant...



I ended up in the parking lot of the burger joint on the corner of 34th and Chester. After a little while the very same bum in The Silence Club video walked up to me and said, "You found it!"

"Oh yeah?" I had attached the pedal and pedal arm back on the bike but couldn't tighten the bolt even though I tried with a rock, caveman style.

"You found your pedal. Oh man I saw you. I used to have a bike. But they stole it."

"Oh man. Sucks."



"You should go across the street and have them fix it," he pointed to a car body paint garage.

"Nah. I'll just take it to the bike shop."

"OK, well I'll see ya," he said, staring at my bike.

"Later, man..."

Who would have thought the same bum would be less kind to Aaron on the same day?

watch:



Read more...

Weekend O' Fun: Bakotopia 3 at Fishlips, The Filthies and new band, The Belardes Boys, featuring Kenny Mount at B Ryders - By N.L. Belardes

It's Saint Patrick's Day in Bakersfield and that means two big music shows. Show #1 is actually part three of the Bakotopia CD Release Show, and features Fatt Katt, The Silence Club, Black Dog, Safe Sounds Crew, Seed, Jane Friday, Mento Buru and more!

Read more...

Now, I will be at the Bakotopia party most of the day, but in the evening I will be at the only Irish music gig in Bakersfield. The Belardes Boys, featuring Kenny Mount will be performing tunes from The Pogues, Dropkick Murphys, and more!




Kenny Mount plays a violin?


Oh yes!

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Bakotopia CD Party 1 exclusive mosh pics:




You can see Jordo from Black Dog's hand wrapping Kenny Mount

************************************

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH THE SILENCE CLUB:



***********************************

EXCLUSIVE VIDEO OF BAKOTOPIA SUPREME SKA-LEADER!



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EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS OF BAKOTOPIA CD RELEASE PARTY 2!


T-Sack from Krotch prepares for a dirty night


Matt Munoz of Bakotopia pauses for a breath of bakotronica


Matt from newly formed band, The Dewskies


Dillon chokes Jorge! Film at 11!


Emily and her friend talk feet and 80s bowling


Uriah (Upper left), Kris from Dirty Spanglish (Upper Right). Bottom Row: Lando and Shaun from Dirty Spanglish and Austin from The Dewskies...


The Silence Club ROCKED! Aaron has a great voice and fun melodies to his songs


This is Aaron. He's cool


And he has cool hair


Noveltown was on hand to sell Hockey CDs and a few books


Tekwiz tests the sounds!


Jordo and his uncle Kevin. They arm wrestled. Jordo barely lost


Dirty Spanglish!


Whoah!


Ya ya!


Seed performed. So did From Ritual to Romance. I was sad I missed Big Daddy Ruben Val Verde and company... I also missed Krotch. Lando and the rest of Dirty Spanglish stayed. He says about Krotch, "It sunk deep into my memory..." Lando also said about From Ritual to Romance, "They're one of the only Screamo bands I like."

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Now get a load of Hectic Films interviews: